Sunday, November 29, 2009

Taking Another Road

It's hard to believe that it's been almost a year since I started this journey.
At first it was fun- imagining myself thin and fit by summer's end.
Then it became difficult and wearisome as I fought the cravings and
the pressure to live up to my goal.

I am in the same place I was in January.
Oh, sure, three or four pounds were shed.
But then they returned.
Bigger and better than ever.
And more determined never to
leave my side again.

Looking back, I know the mistakes I made.
I still feel the depression-
the agony of defeat-
I still wonder how I wandered so far
beyond the path I had set for myself.

I am not proud of the choices I made.
Because that is just what they were.
My choices.

I failed to focus.
To take it all seriously.
To realize how quickly one year flies by.

I am so happy that you came here to follow me.
That you held my hand along the way
and forced me to talk about it.

Thank you all.

But this will be my last entry
in my Finding Thin diary.
It was an experiment in self improvement-
and I suppose it was not a complete failure
if I can step back and see where I need to change.

I believe that diet must coincide
with all other aspects of your life.

If your housework is piling up
and your kids are demanding of you
and your spirits are down-
well, that donut tastes pretty durn good!

But, if you have all other aspects
of your life in order-
if you focus on your life as a whole-
then the weight loss will be as natural
as waking up every morning.
And each day will be easier.

It will all fall into place.

That's why I am making another attempt
at achieving my goals.
Starting January 4th, I will be writing
my new blog titled
Ten in '10.

A daily diary of my attempts to improve and nurture
ten important areas of my life in 2010.

Hopefully, I will become a better person in every way.

Join me.
Let's do it together.

After all, we have nothing to lose...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Hello...It's Me

The year winds down
to a thin silhouette-
and sadly, I haven't.

I'm no better off than I was
last January when I
truly believed that
the weight would
melt like the snow.

I'm a hibernating bear.
A fat cocoon.
A menopausal mama
with multiple chins.

I have told myself
that I will try
a small scale goal.

No sweets till Thanksgiving day.

So- goodbye Halloween candy,
cupcakes and goodies.

I must do this thing!!
I'm losing a part of myself
under this garbage.

I want to be me again.