Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Do You See What I See?

Okay, okay-enough about bodily functions, already!

Today we are going to touch on body image.
How you feel about your body
goes a long way in determining just how
other people see you.

Are you positive when you walk into a room?
Do you smile and hold your head up?

Or do you become stressed-
immediately self-conscious about your belly
or your butt?

I have seen lots of bigger women
who wear sleeveless tops,
tuck in their shirts and belt their
wide waistlines.
But you know what?

They look good because they are smiling.
Because their hair is stylish,
their clothes are hip,
and because their attitude says
"I feel good about myself".

I think it all boils down to loving yourself.

So many of us don't.
We're disgusted and disillusioned
and it shows in our furrowed face
and our weary posture.

I get so sick of those magazines
that constantly remind us
that we each have a certain body shape.
Over and over and over again-
every month or two-
these magazines will tell you
how to dress, what to wear,
and even how to wear your hair and makeup.

Plus- what idiot named all the
body shapes after food?
The pear, the apple, the lollipop....

Well, I'm not a psychologist,
but, please, People!
What kind of garbage is that?

Wear what makes you feel good.
Buy clothes that make you feel beautiful.
Put on whatever makes you
comfortable and confident.
It comes through
and people can sense it.

Just because you're fat
doesn't mean you aren't attractive.

But don't roll around like a slob
and feel sorry for yourself.

Take charge.
Love yourself.
And the future will unfold
before you know it.
There is so much to enjoy
and look forward to.

Don't put life on hold
just because you're on a diet.
Live Large-
at least until you can...
Find Thin

Monday, March 30, 2009

Better Buy Beano

I feel as though a diet journey
is a personal experience that is always
best when shared with others.

Just knowing that other people
are out there
going through the same trials
and experiencing similar
joys and disappointments,
is always uplifting
and encouraging.

That's why I'm sure you won't mind
a personal story about a private experience
that- for me-
has only added to the spiciness and
the memory of this long, long journey.
Forgive me
if it offends any of you.

I cooked my favorite chili Sunday afternoon.
Being low calorie and high fiber-
it was an excellent choice
for a snowy afternoon lunch.
It hit the spot.

In fact, it was so good
that I had seconds.
And even then, I stayed well
within my daily limits.

Well, you know from my past blogs that
I had a definite problem
with my favorite high-fiber
"fart bars."

Honey- this chili made those fart bars
sound like an ant coughing.

I was tooting bazooka guns all day!
And try as I might-
they could not be suppressed
or hidden
or even Glade-disguised.

It was a good thing
I wasn't sitting in church
or cooped up in the car stuck in traffic.
Because the hi-decibel grunts
weren't the worst part of it.

The smell made little green clouds
appear all over the house
and unfortunately
my husband drifted into one
as he entered the bathroom.

I suppose after a few hours,
I was used to it.
It didn't seem to be a problem,
but he began opening windows and doors
and turning on ceiling fans.

"It's snowing in on the carpet," I said,
fighting another small toot.

"Get a hold of yourself, Woman!" he warned,
backing up three or four feet
and waving the air.

Later in the day, we went to the garage to
assemble a smoker that we had just bought
and by that time, he had forgotten
the putrid poison pellets of perfume
that I had deposited earlier.

Burner assembly.
Chrome handle.
Wire racks.

All the while. I was holding the
flashlight so that he could peer
into the smoker to tighten the nuts.

I felt another wave of silent stench
coming on and
walked off to the other side of
the room to avoid another

Then he shouted impatiently
and insisted that I
immediately resume my
loyal flashlight-holding stance-
so what could I do?

Let's just say
that he wasn't a happy camper.

Yet, later that night,
his chili fiber suddenly kicked in
and we went to bed and snuggled
sounding like muffled firecrackers
in stereo sound.

But, you know-
I laughed more than I had in weeks.
It just goes to show the price we must pay
for healthier living.

And I don't mean to
toot my own horn, (no pun intended)
but I am willing to experience all
the uncomfortable side effects.

Face it-
though it might make some of you barf-
Sweet success never smelled so good!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Swim Suit Season Is Upon Us


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ignoring Tradition

No wonder people are fat.

Every time a celebration
or holiday comes around,
somehow there is food involved.

And usually delicious food.

Who in the heck started the
ice cream and birthday cake scenario?
Why couldn't it just be tradition to
chomp on a stalk of celery and
sing Happy Birthday
as you run laps around
the living room?

And take Easter, for example.
Why chocolate bunnies?
Couldn't they just be Brussels Sprout bunnies?
Or rice cake rabbits?
And maybe we could nix the ham
and home made rolls
for a Slim Fast shake
and a stick of gum.

New Years Eve.
Have you ever seen one without junk food?
Or liquor?
And who gave men permission
to reward us with boxes of chocolates
on Valentine's Day?
Why not a cute little box of
cherry tomatoes
or sushi rolls?

I think we ought to unite-
voice our concerns
and change traditions
all over the world!

Why should skinny people get to enjoy cake
when we must avoid it at all costs?
Why should thin individuals be able
to lay away tons of nachos and peanuts
and not gain an ounce?

It's prejudice-
pure and simple.

It should be a crime for thin people
to look at the rest of us
as though we are committing a crime
when we put a box of
Ding Dongs in our grocery cart.

It is obesity-profiling.

And the only way
we are ever going to overcome it
is by....
well.. we might as well face it...
by becoming thin ourselves.

Like I always say-
if you can't beat 'em- join 'em.

(And if you can't join 'em-
at least hide the Ding Dongs!)

Let's keep on truckin'.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

X Marks The Spot

I watched the Biggest Loser last night.

While they were sweating and struggling,
I couldn't help by wonder why I was
still sitting on my big butt,
waiting for miracles to happen.

I realized that if these people
can move enough to get exercise,
then I have no excuses such as:
"I'm tired",
"I don't have time",

"I don't have a gym membership."

It's excuses that got me fat.

"I can't throw away the last two slices of pizza."
"That piece of pie was so good, I have to have another."

"It's the weekend, so I'm gonna splurge."

What one contestant said last night
hit home with me:
"Every day you must make a conscious decision about your life."

I know it's easy to get caught up
in celebrations and rewards
and stress-
and usually food is the crutch that
most people lean on.

it's time to quit.

It's time to look toward tomorrow
and envision where you want to be.
Who you want to be.

Personally, I want the letter "X"
to be totally eradicated from the tags
of my wardrobe.
No XL underwear,
no XXL sweat pants,
no size X tops
or tanks
or belts!

"X" marks the spot
where I must begin
to make changes!

I decided that I will take time
each morning
to evaluate my day.
I must meet it head on
and be prepared for the challenges.

I have to "Think"
before I "Do".

"Is this healthy for me?"
"Do I really need another serving?"
"Won't the fat free salad dressing be better for me?"
"Remember to fill up on the veggie tray at tonight's party instead of the dessert tray."
"I can walk across the parking lot- it's a beautiful day out."

All I have to do is make it through
24 hours at a time-
and then start a new day tomorrow.

Tomorrows add up pretty quickly.
Look how fast almost 100 days has gone.


And you know what?
It never-ever
hurts to pray.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Smart Choices

There are times in my life
when I actually considered
taking some type of diet pill.
Just pop a few of those babies
in my mouth every morning-
and then jet around the house
like a skinny Tasmanian Devil.

But, my brain out ruled my body.
Luckily, I was smart enough to know
that not only are diet pills
unsafe, but the fix is
only temporary.
That little pill will never
taste like buttered roasting ears
or deep pan pizza.
Sooner or later, cravings
would most likely surface
and it's highly probable
that a feeding frenzy
would put you even deeper
into your fat furrow.

Then there are also all those
wraps and creams and devices
that offer a quick fix-
that amazingly melt off inches,
eradicate cellulite
and dissolve fat glands.
But, then again-
a temporary solution.

I like to eat.
I enjoy seeing a plate
full of colorful food
and seasoned cuisine.
I savor sweet and sour
and spicy and salty.
I require crunchy and creamy
and tender and smooth.
No diet pill
or diet-dungeon tool
can give you all of that.

Changing the way you look at food
is the best track to follow.
Substitutions and new product choices
can gradually make a huge
difference in your weight
and your attitude.
Just go one week without soda
and see what a difference it makes.
Cut out the Crappachino every morning
for a month and watch that scale plummet.
Fill up on a light salad before your meal.

There are safe and healthy ways
to get the pounds off.
It's just not going to be quick.
It's not going to happen overnight.

It's going to take
determination, organization,
frustration and elimination.

But you can do it.
I have faith in all of you.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I'm On The Slow Boat

I really wish I could say
that I took a week off from writing
and spent that time working out
and walking
and perfecting healthy menus.

But I'd be lying.

I am basically in the same place
and point on the scale
that I was when I last wrote.

But- don't get me wrong-
I'm not discouraged
and I'm not giving up.
I just realize it is time
to get a second wind
and start getting more serious.
Guessing at portions
and adding a treat here and there
are just choices for disaster.

I have a Sister Weekend the end of May
and we all are bragging about how
we will be able to walk and bend
and jump out of the van
like teenagers on spring break.
We are going on another
100 Mile Yard Sale adventure
which takes a certain amount
of stamina and agility.
And if I don't get on the program
with my diet journey,
I'll be left in the van
holding everyone else's
trash and treasure!

Plus, I turn 53 in May.

I hope by then I can look
in the mirror and be proud of
the results.
I know I can't turn back time,
but I'll be able to enjoy
the present more fully
if I am fit.

Right now I look into the mirror
and say,
"Mirror, mirror,
On the wall-
What the HELL happened?"

Here's to a great new spring.
A revival of hope.
Another successful week
of our 200 day journey.

It's good to be back.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Craving Crusher

My new favorite lunch is a pita salad.
I literally salivate whenever I think about it.
And thank goodness
it's both healthy and delicious.

And easy to prepare, to boot!

I prefer the whole wheat pita-
(or Kangaroo Bread, as some call it)
and most groceries sell it near the bakery
or the bread products.
I happened to run across
the Weight Watcher pitas while out of town,
(which are half the points as regular),
but you can't find them here locally.

I buy the Shreds lettuce-
slice up a few radishes, cukes
and carrots-
add reduced-fat feta cheese,
chopped cherry tomatoes,
and a smidgen of raisins.
I blend all that with Good Seasons
dry packaged dressing
(that I mixed
with seasoned rice vinegar only).
No oil.

I usually heat two pita halves
for 15-20 seconds in the microwave
and stuff those babies with
my salad concoction.

It is filling and fit
and satisfies that crunchy-but-sour
craving I usually get about mid-day.

Depending on your diet plan,
you could add tuna or chicken-
or try just lettuce with sliced strawberries
and a lo-fat poppy seed dressing.

One tip is that
you may want to store your pitas
in the refrigerator.
I've found out that they don't
keep very long at room temperature.
There's nothing worse than
planning a great pita salad-
only to find the bread's gone green.

A salad by itself seems lacking substance-
but a salad stuffed inside those wheat
pockets looks like cheating!

Have you got a favorite
Share it with all of us here.

We can always use some great new ideas
to help make this journey
a more pleasant process.

33 more days and we're halfway there!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

How The Cookie Monster Crumbles

As I wrote on my other blog today,
the Girl Scouts celebrate their
birthday tomorrow.

It commemorates the day in 1912
when the founder, Juliette Gordon Low,
registered the first 18 members
and formed what is now known
as The Girl Scouts of the USA.

I am sure these girls are loyal,
true, and practice acts of kindness-
-but in my mind-
they are no more innocent than
McDonald's when it comes to
enticing people to "super size".

I mean, have you ever
ordered just one box of cookies
from them?

It is the shear volume
of these crunchy sweet treats
that make them so attractive.

Place a single Thin Mint on a plate,
and you have nothing.
Place five boxes of Thin Mints
on your plate
and you have supper!

But, believe me-
there's nothing thin about them!

These girls are pushers.
Plain and simple.

They even attack us in our homes-
ringing doorbells
and knocking knockers
and coming around to the back yard
where we are hiding in the azaleas.

One look at their little green sash
and their full-color cookie brochure-
and we've committed ourselves
to a huge diet dilemma.

The only way to avoid
seeing those seductive Samoas
and the tantalizing Tagalongs
is to "Just say no!"

Sure, the little brats might
run home crying-
their mothers might ban you
from the block party-
your house might get egged
and TP'd,
but, hey-
you're gonna be thinner because of it!

That, my friends,
is one giant secret of diet success-
DON'T let it into your house.
DON'T feed the monster.
DON'T tempt evil.

Just look the other way-
and-oh, yeah...
hide somewhere better
than those stupid bushes!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Move It or Lose It, Sista !

Is it just my imagination,
or is everybody on the face of the earth
on a diet?

Well, if they're not-
I wish they'd get the
hell out of the Lean Cuisine aisle
and back to the bakery
where they belong.

I mean, it's hard enough
juggling a suitcase-sized purse,
calorie guide,
and a grocery cart
with a lop-sided squeaky wheel-
without having to wedge myself
between two gabbing
home room mothers
in order to reach the cabbage.

...Or force myself between
the army of people
selecting their three for a dollar
chicken breast specials...

...Or practically risking my life
by taking the last box of
fat free ice cream in the dairy case...

The grocery store has
become a war zone.
Everybody is fighting mad
about the prices to begin with-
then deny a dieter a Weight Watcher muffin
and see what happens!

I try to be a "get in and get out"
kind of shopper.
But people who have their lives
tuned to slow-motion
have really put the damper on me lately.

They have to squeeze and smell
and hold the fruit.

-Poke and press and paw the veggies.

-Hold a roast in their hands
for ten minutes straight
trying to decide
if it's what they want for dinner.

But I am sending out this warning-
"You don't wanna mess with me."
I can cripple your cart
in two seconds flat
and have you
blubbering over the broccoli
like a soap-opera star gone bad.

I can't help but feel
like I'm running with a herd of buffaloes
every time I enter the WalMart Super Center.
And there just ain't enough
to go around.
Believe me.

And another thing that gets my goat-
is fighting for a spot in front of the
frozen food selection
against Miss Anna Rexic
who needs a low fat Panini
like she needs another
rib poking out!
Go plump up on some
Oreo Double Stuff, will ya?

I think I understand why
a lot of dieters try the Nutri-System.
The food comes right to your door-
all prepackaged and measured
and stuff-

So what if its a couple of dried peas
and dehydrated turkey jerky?
At least you're safe at home.

It's a wonder that a gal like me
can even survive this diet process.
Selecting, shopping and
buying the food has turned into
such an extreme sport.

Then you get it home
and it all tastes like
fiber-induced vitamin wafers
or Styrofoam loaded lunch delights.

Good thing I grabbed
the last box of WW muffins!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Every Day Is a Winding Road

I just want to tell you this morning
that it's a good thing
I don't have to type with my legs
because I wouldn't be blogging today.

Friday I took my first spring walk.

Oh, I was feeling frisky and
up to the challenge.
The air was warm,
the birds were singing,
the time for exercise just seemed right.
I looked down the road
and confidently agreed
I was ready for a stroll.

My son and his girlfriend
-and our dogs in tow-
all set out on the sidewalk
and onto a nice paved bike trail.
Everything was suddenly green
and I lovingly inhaled the fresh air.

I immediately had a
fit and trim feeling-
a sassy kick to my stride-
a smug "Look at me- I'm walking"
silent sort of pride.

"How much further?" I asked,
easily maneuvering the first
block or so.

They laughed.

I couldn't.

I was already winded.

"Could you take the leash?" I pleaded
with my son, handing off my dog to him.
"I can hardly walk myself, much less
this stupid dog," I snapped between breaths.

There they were-
the two of them ahead of me
about ten paces.
Their muscular legs
and firm buttocks
and that
"I could run a marathon" attitude.

"You know," I reminded them-
"I have to be able to get back, too.
Unless you want to run and
get the car, we better turn around."

They laughed.

I couldn't.

Laughing takes air
and my lungs couldn't catch any.

But they pushed me.
All the way back to the house
where I wheezed myself
to the couch and became
semi-comatose for the next hour.

My legs hurt today.
My feet still throb a little.

But everything in life
has a beginning and an end.

This was the beginning
of the new me.
The fit and healthy me.
The me with fresh habits.

Who knows?
Someday I might even have that
"I could run a marathon" attitude.

maybe all the way around the block
at least!

Friday, March 6, 2009

To Thine Ownself Be True

Sorry if yesterday's post
brought you down.
I think we're all adults here
and realize that a diet
isn't some big party-
that it's a journey
with ups and downs
and occasional stumbles.

But through it all we must
always strive to keep
our identity.
To be who we are-
whether fat or thin.
We must stay true to ourselves
and not try to be someone we aren't.

And stay humble.
If you've lost a few inches
and your best friend hasn't-
don't flaunt it in her face.
Savor it in secret.
But encourage her more.

Losing weight is not
like winning the lottery.
It's not going to bring instant
peace and happiness.
It won't make all our problems
just disappear.

But what it will do
is give us the courage and confidence
to face each morning-
It will give us the ability
to look in the mirror
and know we are the best
we can be.

That we are ourselves.
That our journey was hard.

But finding thin made every other journey
a piece of cake.

A piece of rice cake.

I'm rooting for you.
Even on days when you just don't care.

Just start again tomorrow.
We're all here to pull you
back in line
and help
you reach your goal.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sometimes You Have Just One Of Those Days

Don't say "diet" to me today.

Don't watch me with critical eyes
while I measure my cereal and sweeten my tea-
Don't guard the fridge like a big rabid dog
that's suddenly shadowing me.

Don't try to imagine what the numbers might be
As I sneak in to weigh on the scale-
And don't get sick when the full length mirror
has no perfect body to yet unveil.

Don't push the tuna and salad and crap-
Like you're suddenly worried about me.
Don't say diet.
I might start a riot.
For today- just let me be me.

Don't pat me on the back for resisting temptation
as though it's something I'm horrible at-
Don't treat me like a wild
misbehaved child
that sulks on the floor cuz I'm fat.

Don't promise me tomorrows-just give me today-
Don't paint pictures of what I could be.
Please don't mention diet-
I might start a riot-
For today just let me
be me.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tiny Treats

No matter how good I try to be-
No matter how much I yearn to look
like a store mannequin-
No matter how often I tell myself
to get a grip-
I still have cravings.

Some people crave the
salty-cheesy-buttery-pretzley stuff.
Others want the starch ridden potatoes
or the huge hunks of grilled meat.

But I crave sweets.

Once upon time (long ago, it seems)-
I could eat away an entire package
of Oreos before Regis and Kathy Lee
let their coffee get cold.

I would treat myself to half a cheesecake
instead of a scoop of ice cream like
most people.
And every Tuesday
the girl at the day-old bakery
always set aside the
Buy Two, Get One Free
Oooey-Gooey Butter cakes
just for me.

But now I know better.
How on earth did I do that?

Anyway- the craving part....

Well, besides the sugar-free
pudding cups
and the smidgen of raisins
I have once in awhile-
I was needing a new sugar fix.

In came Little Debbie to the rescue.
One hundred calorie brownies!
And triple chocolate at that!

I bought a box at the grocery store
and salivated so much on the way home
that I had to change my sweater.

I guess Little Debbie knew me
pretty durn well.
She must have suspected a gal like me
really had no business purchasing
an item that might send me right over
the Diet Cliff and straight back into
the Jumbo Jungle.

the triple chocolate 100 calorie brownies
were about the size of a large band-aid.
Two bites at the most.
Maybe three if you're not hogging it down.

But I discovered that sometimes
that is all it takes.

Just two little bites of sugary sweetness
and I'm back on the Reality Railroad-
steaming full force ahead
into Thin Town.

Hope to see you
when I get there.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Take Time

Diets are difficult
when mixed with the struggles
of every day living.

Wouldn't it be great to just
go to a Fat Farm and let
them put you through the
obstacle courses
and feed you balanced meals
and be your personal trainer
for six or eight months?

But, no.
None of us are that lucky.

We have to confront such choices
as whether we will sit down
at lunchtime
and eat a nice tuna sandwich,
or run to the bank,
drop off library books,
sort laundry,
clean the shower,
take out the garbage,
balance the checkbook,
and feed the dog instead.

Then- in a ball of stress
and exhaustion,
we reach for the cheese doodles
or the cold pizza.

Life is like that sometimes.
It just comes at you fast.
Sometimes we react
without much thought.

There are some people out there
that think losing weight
is as easy as changing shoes-
that we should just do it
and get it over with.

But I have learned from experience
that you can't lose weight
just by announcing it
to the world.
You cannot shed those pounds
because your husband or mother
or kids are prodding you forward.

Dieting is a spiritual adventure.

Not only do you have to feel it
in your heart,
but your head has to be with the
program, too.
No matter how badly you want to succeed-
if you don't have the proper mindset,
failure looms at every buffet
and potluck and day-old-donut sale.

We dieters have to meditate.
Be aware and on guard.
Tell ourselves the we deserve
to sit down in peace
and eat our tuna sandwich.
Get our mindset stabilized.
Treat ourselves to down time.

Then eventually-
one by one-
tackle those every day errands
and responsibilities
that cower over us.

Dieting is not like
changing shoes-

It's like moving the earth.

But every inch counts...
Every second matters...

Each day
is one day closer.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Book Shelf Buys

I've run across a new book
that may be just what some of
you dieters are looking for.

The title: Eat This, Not That,
is pretty self-explanatory
and is chock-full of
good information about
food choices.
The author is David Zinczenko.
(Go to to search
inside this book.)

This book contains easy
language, color photos,
organized chapters, and more
facts than I can ingest in one sitting.

It's for those of us that are
spending days in the grocery store
trying to figure out what is good for us
and what to steer away from.

For example- (and not to pick on Kellogg),
but if you were to see Smart Start cereal
on the grocery shelf, you might assume
that is is a good choice.
However, David says that:
"Despite Kellogg's loaded health claims
about this cereal, sugar and other sweetener's

show up no fewer than 10 times
the ingredient list."

And about Sarah Lee Plain Deluxe Bagels,
David claims that:
"This giant wad of bleached flour will
send a sugar load into your bloodstream

so fast that the button might fly right
off your jeans."

I like this David guy.
He's done all the legwork for us.
Not only for those wanting to lose weight,
but to help us make better choices
for our children and those who have
health problems such as diabetes
and high blood pressure.

Did you know that canned pineapple
can contain 20 percent moldy fruit?
That is well within the FDA limits.
It also regulates that potato chips
may legally consist of 6 percent
rotten potatoes.

The book provides color pictures
of popular items such as beverages,
breads, fruits, frozen meals, jellies,
beer, and soups.
And it tells you if it's the best choice
or an item you should pass on.

I can't wait to sit down
and actually read this cover to cover.
I spent an hour just looking at the
photos and reading the highlighted facts.

I spent $13 for this paperback at WalMart,
and at first I was afraid my money was wasted.
But I realize that this has given me power
over the manufacturers who try to deceive us
into believing the "all natural, organic,
or heart healthy claims.
Plus, I will gain a bit more knowledge
about the food I bring into my home.

Eat This, Not That Supermarket Survival Guide.

That's my book report for today.

Keep up the good work!
143 days to go!