Ignoring Tradition

No wonder people are fat.

Every time a celebration
or holiday comes around,
somehow there is food involved.

And usually delicious food.

Who in the heck started the
ice cream and birthday cake scenario?
Why couldn't it just be tradition to
chomp on a stalk of celery and
sing Happy Birthday
as you run laps around
the living room?

And take Easter, for example.
Why chocolate bunnies?
Couldn't they just be Brussels Sprout bunnies?
Or rice cake rabbits?
And maybe we could nix the ham
and home made rolls
for a Slim Fast shake
and a stick of gum.

New Years Eve.
Have you ever seen one without junk food?
Or liquor?
And who gave men permission
to reward us with boxes of chocolates
on Valentine's Day?
Why not a cute little box of
cherry tomatoes
or sushi rolls?

I think we ought to unite-
voice our concerns
and change traditions
all over the world!

Why should skinny people get to enjoy cake
when we must avoid it at all costs?
Why should thin individuals be able
to lay away tons of nachos and peanuts
and not gain an ounce?

It's prejudice-
pure and simple.

It should be a crime for thin people
to look at the rest of us
as though we are committing a crime
when we put a box of
Ding Dongs in our grocery cart.

It is obesity-profiling.

And the only way
we are ever going to overcome it
is by....
well.. we might as well face it...
by becoming thin ourselves.

Like I always say-
if you can't beat 'em- join 'em.

(And if you can't join 'em-
at least hide the Ding Dongs!)

Let's keep on truckin'.