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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

How The Cookie Monster Crumbles


As I wrote on my other blog today,
the Girl Scouts celebrate their
birthday tomorrow.

It commemorates the day in 1912
when the founder, Juliette Gordon Low,
registered the first 18 members
and formed what is now known
as The Girl Scouts of the USA.

I am sure these girls are loyal,
true, and practice acts of kindness-
-but in my mind-
they are no more innocent than
McDonald's when it comes to
enticing people to "super size".

I mean, have you ever
ordered just one box of cookies
from them?

No.
It is the shear volume
of these crunchy sweet treats
that make them so attractive.

Place a single Thin Mint on a plate,
and you have nothing.
Place five boxes of Thin Mints
on your plate
and you have supper!

But, believe me-
there's nothing thin about them!

These girls are pushers.
Plain and simple.

They even attack us in our homes-
ringing doorbells
and knocking knockers
and coming around to the back yard
where we are hiding in the azaleas.

One look at their little green sash
and their full-color cookie brochure-
and we've committed ourselves
to a huge diet dilemma.

The only way to avoid
seeing those seductive Samoas
and the tantalizing Tagalongs
is to "Just say no!"

Sure, the little brats might
run home crying-
their mothers might ban you
from the block party-
your house might get egged
and TP'd,
but, hey-
you're gonna be thinner because of it!

That, my friends,
is one giant secret of diet success-
DON'T let it into your house.
DON'T feed the monster.
DON'T tempt evil.

Just look the other way-
and-oh, yeah...
hide somewhere better
than those stupid bushes!

2 comments:

sisterlinda said...

Thank goodness that I have said NO to the cookie girls. They have been in front of WalMart and even the grocery store. I just look at them and smile. It is a good thing they did not ask me to buy cause I might have just looked at them and said "Does this body look like I need to eat cookies?" It is amazing that we will spend $3.50 for a mere 10 or 15 cookies. If I were in WalMart and they had cookies, 10 for $3.50. there is NO WAY I would buy them. Yes, I know it is for a good cause and all.

I was not tempted, by the girls in green. I plan on being a thin person without the thin mints!

Anonymous said...

I got a box of the peanut butter, chocolate ones and just ate one a day until they were gone. ok ok, i don't like sweets that much so it isn't a huge deal to me to just eat one. but doable for sure!