The Heat Is On

How is it that you can sweat
ten buckets of perspiration
and not lose a pound-
but one donut hole
slaps 12 ounces to your thighs?

Diets aren't fair.

I thought that working outside in 90+
degree heat and 100 percent humidity,
I might experience the same benefits
as spending the day in a sauna,
but-
no.

Not gonna happen.

All I lost was
the shine in my hair,
a favorite flip-flop,
and the lid to the
gas can.

I figured I could have
lost more weight
kicked back in my recliner
eating granola bars and
watching Cops
than I did killing myself
with a hoe and a weed eater.

Diets aren't fair.
Or fun.

But just like
bad hair
and pimples
and hot flashes
and husbands-
You just gotta live with 'em.

Make the best of it
and take it one day at a time.

I just wish someone
would have told me
that my plateau
was going to be 100 miles wide
and a 100 days long!

All of us here
are after the same thing.

Why is it so hard to find?