The End Is In Sight

What once seemed like a lifetime
now unfolds into mere hours-
and my 200 day deadline
is almost a shadow on my wall.

It's about to pass me up
and fade into darkness.

I feel like I'm on a big ship
with all of you.

It's been fun.

We've shared everything from
cellulite
to saggy butts.

We've started and stopped.
And started.
And stopped.
And started.

We've learned-
and grown-
and realized that we must
humor ourselves in order
to accept ourselves.

We've weathered stormy seas
and felt the sunshine on our faces.

We've laughed.
And cried.
And cursed the bathroom scale.

We've cheated.
And lied.
And tried harder than we thought possible.

...And found a little bit of ourselves in the process.

The ship is about to anchor.
The 200 day tour is almost over.

Some of you probably
got out at the last port-
stunningly smart in your
new thin bodies-
no longer needing a lifesaver
to keep you afloat-
no longer needing a captain
because you've learned to steer
away from bad habits.

It's sad for me.
I feel like I'm going down with the ship.

And saying goodbye
is almost harder than
saying I failed.

But-
Hey-
I do have till midnight tomorrow!

I believe in miracles.
I believe in the strength of dreams.
I believe that good things take time.
I believe that another ship
will come along soon
and the trip will be easier.

But today I feel like Gilligan.
Like I've screwed up so many times
that I'll never make it home.