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Friday, July 24, 2009

The Show Must Go On....


There is so much to say.
Yet, there is nothing to say.

You would think that with
200 days to do it-
I could have said it all,
done it all-
finished this journey
with head held high
(and smaller sized clothes).

Back in January,
I honestly thought that I'd
be able to pat myself on the back
come July.
I thought that this would be my
day of celebration and rewards-
of hugging you all
and giving high-fives all around.

I never thought the journey
would be easy.
But I thought it would
be possible.

I still think that.

I just wasn't propelled.
I wasn't strict enough-
I didn't stay the course-
I didn't avoid the pitfalls-
(or ignore the donuts!).

But this journey has not been in vain.

Along the way, I've met
some great friends.
Knowing you have been there
rooting for me every day
has been a blessing to me-
and I thank you all-
whomever you may be.

And, if you have met with success-
let me be the first to congratulate you
on a job well done.
You look amazing!

As a result of this journey,
I may not have Found Thin-
but I found a part of myself along the way.

I've also found that it's better to have a plan
and not just set sail into the darkness.
Write it down.
Do it.
Follow it.
Live it.

(And don't wait till Monday!)

I've found that it's okay to laugh
at yourself-
But it's also okay to cry, too.

I've found that heavy people
can still be happy.
They can still dance,
and sing,
and make love.
They can still be somebody.
The only thing holding them back
is themselves.
(Or a size 44 bra!)

I've realized that Hollywood
is full of a bunch of
starving bitches
who don't deserve my time
or attention.

I've realized you can't hide
a candy bar for very long-
Because you might forget
what day you gave birth
to your first child-
but you will never, ever,
forget where you hid
that candy bar.

I've realized that One Cup
does not mean a coffee mug
filled to the top,
or an ounce doesn't mean
whatever will fit in a taco.

I've realized that
the scale is my friend
and not the enemy.
It is truthful,
does not criticize,
and is always there
waiting for me each morning.

I've realized there are some people
that are always gonna love you-
no matter what size you are.
And there are people that will
never love you-
no matter how thin you are.

I've realized that forward
is the only direction.
It does no good to look back.
To say what was-
what could have been-
past weight and old clothes
and days that are no more...

It is a new day.
A new life.
A new journey.

I have come to realize
that each and every day of life
is a commitment.
To God,
our spouses,
and ourselves.

We must not forget
that it is up to us
to fortify and strengthen
these commitments.
They do not exist without us.
They will not survive
if we do not nurture and direct them.

We must stand firm,
yet tread gently.
We must love ourselves
no matter the circumstances.
We must always hold our heads high
(and never compare ourselves
to Angelina Jolie!)

I've found out that a diet
is just a tool.
And you have to use it properly
or it doesn't work.

I've found out that a diet
is a vehicle.
It will take you where you
want to go-
if you provide the proper fuel.
Too much grease and fat
will put you in the repair shop
down in Fat Town
and your journey will be delayed.

I've discovered that good intentions
are never enough-
Actions speak louder than words.
And no-fat cottage cheese
tastes like paper pulp.

I have decided that I will
start a new journey.
The first day of every month,
I will post my progress
right here on this blog.

I'd like you all to comment with
your progress, your stories-
your commitment.

So-
it's not over.
It has just begun.

Thank you for all your
support and prayers
and slaps on the hand.

I'm still here for you, too.

The new ship sails on August 1st.
Come see me if you want to ride along.

Love, Peace, and Rice Cakes!
Rae

2 comments:

sisterlinda said...

Oh...so sad that the curtain has fallen! It has been a ride of pleasure, laughs, smiles and ups and downs. It has been a pleasure to read your blog each and every morning. I will be counting the days until August 1st.

I am still on this road to thin. I have good company to travel with ...like my husband, sisters, brother in law and nieces.

Get on our marks. get set....GO! See you at the finish line before the end of 2009!

Margaret LaVonne Hall said...

How proud of yourself you must be, that the goal that you accomplished was finding YOU, and the thoughts within yourself, Rae. That is the winning part of your journey..The first of every month is a good place to start, those 30 days can be a calendar to more nutrious and lighter eating habits...Gonna' be there, my friend...See you around the cupcakes...ooopppss....around the celery!!!