Crunch Time!

While watching TV last night,
there was a pretty woman
on some program doing
sit-ups.

It's funny.
Her face wasn't all drawn
up into a wad of agony
and her breathing seemed
so consistent and
controlled.

My husband glanced
over at me and said,
"You need to be doing those."

I almost said sarcastically-
"Oh, my gosh! I hadn't ever
thought of that! Wow!
Great idea! I'll get right on it!"

Instead, I swallowed dryly
and sighed,
"Yeah. I ought to...
I mean- I'm going to..
I really have meant to."

If I did ten sit-ups today,
I'd be bed-ridden for a week!
My stomach muscles would
be so sore I'd feel like I'd
been in some torture chamber
on the stretching machine.

My neck, legs, and butt
would also hurt.
Not to mention the painful
cries that would emit from
my lips in the process
of firming my (lost) abs.

But-
he's right, I know.
There is going to be some pain
along the journey.
Sacrifices must be made.
Things must be done-
whether comfortable or not.

Whether pretty or not-
the elbows are gonna have
to learn to touch the knees.

But- I've come
a long way, baby.
I used to sit and
eat jelly donuts while
watching Susan Powter
and Richard Simmons...

And the whole time thinking-
"I should be doing what they're doing."
But instead of getting up
and doing some stretches,
I'd wipe the jelly off my chin
and reach into the bag for another
circle of calories.

I vow that today I will do ten sit-ups.
Just to please my husband.

And if I don't die doing them-
then I'll do fifteen tomorrow-
and twenty five next week.

So-
if you happen to pass by
my house this afternoon-
just ignore the cries for help
and the heavy breathing.

It's just me.
Doing sit-ups!

...Doing everything I possibly can
to find thin.

Won't you join me?