Deja Vu

Last year at this time I was rushing to WalMart
at several digits over the legal speed limit.
I didn't want to be late or to miss the event!
All Valentine candy was 70 percent off!

I pictured my chrome cart toppling over
with caramel nougats, dark chocolate cherries,
and my favorite creamy truffles.
From this After-The-Event Sale,
I would have enough stash
to last me till Easter.

But this year was different.

I only watch as others pile up their baskets
and scramble past me
to grab the sugar-shocking bargains.

At the checkout lately,
I've been studying the contents
that people put into their carts.
I've grown appalled by the junk food
that some people buy.

Apparently they have no idea
about the calories and fat and sugar
they have chosen.
They are still oblivious to
the way it makes them feel-
or look.

But I can't help but feel the
sadness of familiarity -
of deja vu-
of being the big woman in line
with the cookies and pizza and Pepsi.

That was me.
Less than two months ago.

I may not look any different yet.
If you blur your eyes,
it could still be me standing there.

The big difference between us
is
that I'm making new choices.

I look at their carts
and I want to reach out
and tell them about this trip.
This enlightenment-
the decision to make changes in our lives.
I want to beg them to
check their habits-
summon up their willpower,
know that it's never too late
to do what's best.

Sure, there are still a few things
in the shadows of my cart
that aren't quite perfect.
I still desire certain foods
and struggle with the changes everyday.

So- I ask myself-
who am I?
Who am I to judge- to preach-
to criticize?

How many wasted years did I not listen?

How many times did I hear about
the reality of being overweight and
simply chose to ignore it?

This 200 day journey keeps me alive-
alert- ready to be better.
And all of you- my readers-
keep me balanced- focused-inspired.
Whenever I think about grabbing a sugar snack
or a greasy burger,
the thought of you keeps me grounded.
And out of the candy aisle!

For those of you who haven't
made the commitment yet,
today is the day to start.

It's not too late
to unpack your grocery cart
of all that temporary gratification-
and fill it
with lasting promises.