Proceed With Caution

I know we are all in the same boat.

But we're staying on course.
The load is getting lighter-
the sailing a bit smoother everyday.
We can almost see the shoreline
if we blur our eyes and row harder.

But don't row too hard.
Save some strength for tomorrow-
don't get burnt out, injured
or sick.
Finding thin takes time.

I suppose I should have included a warning
before starting this blog
just to inform people to see their doctor
before starting any type of weight loss program.
Yet- it seems crazy to me
to pay Dr. Farari a huge part of the
bank account just to tell you to
watch your calorie intake and to exercise more.
It's common sense.

But I guess there are some people out there
that are desperate.
Those that will resort to laxatives,
fat flushers, special shakes,
and diet drugs.
Those that want immediate satisfaction-
quick results
and instant thinness.

Venturing into the realm of quick fixes
is not only dangerous but foolish.

You might as well cut off your arm.

That'll rid you of approximately
10-20 pounds.

Need your arms?
Well, according to online information
collected by someone named Keesha Myas,
removing certain body parts
can significantly lower your body weight.

Duh!

Here are some examples of Keesha's
Amputation Diet Plan that may not
be as harmful as chopping off a limb:

Do this: Lose this:
Clip finger and toenails 1 ounce maximum
Haircut 2-6 ounces
Drastic Haircut / Headshave 4-12 ounces
Trim Body Hair 1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men) 24 lbs (Greek men)
Remove a wart 1 oz.
Vascetomy none.
Take a big pee. up to 1.5 pounds
Take a big dump up to 2.5 pounds
Go barefoot 1-2 pounds
Go Naked 1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)
Contact lenses vs. Glasses 0.3 pounds
Don't wear underwear 1 oz. (thong)-2 lbs. (granny panties)
Exfoliating face wash nothin.
Liposuction 10 lbs maximum per surgery
Donate a kidney 3 pounds.
Breast Reduction Surgery 5-15 pounds typically.

So, this bit of humor today
is just to get you to look in the mirror
and smile.
Laugh.
Love yourself just as you are.

Dieting is serious business,
but don't take it too seriously.
Don't endanger your health
for want of a different body.
Don't rock the boat and drown
before you've reached
the warm sandy beaches
of your new future.

And don't believe everything you read!

Because after playing with the scale this morning,
I know for a fact that my granny panties
only weigh 4 tenths of an ounce!