Lift Me Up

I read somewhere recently that
a new item called a Butt Bra
will soon be available for purchase
in the U.S.

It's called the Biniki
and I can just imagine
the line that will be forming
in front of JCPenny
when it goes on sale.

Here's what this new device claims to do:
• Holds up the weight of the buttocks
• Smooths out the back of the thighs
• Lifts and defines the buttock’s curvature
• Maximizes small/flat derrieres
• Leaves no visible line under most clothing
• Enhances the effect of form fitting clothes
• Adds comfort because of support
• Provides a put together look

In other words, it's kinds like getting
butt Botox.
Lifts and smooths and gives the impression
that you are actually very toned
in that particular area.

Funny what some people will do.
We invest our hard earned money on
Spanx and cellulite creams
and support bras.
We hide under tummy tuckers,
push-ups and modern day corsets.
We try everything within our power
to hide what we know
is unattractive.

Do we really think anyone
is stupid enough to think
an obese woman doesn't have
back fat?
Or believe that a 300 pound lady
doesn't have belly bulge?

One argument for wearing these miracle
slimming products is that we feel better
about ourselves.
People don't seem to stare as much.

I know I'll feel better when I lose weight.

I'll be able to walk and run better
and spend the day doing yard work
without having to rest so often.
I'll be able to buy a greater selection
of clothes and shoes
and carry myself with a bit
more confidence.

But, I do think the Butt Bra
might be going too far.

I mean, I may take off weight,
but I'm never going to be able
to take off years.

Who wants to see a thin old lady
with a nineteen year old
high, firm butt?

Uhh...Hmmmmm...
...On second thought-
who wants to
camp out with me
at JCPenny later?

(Post Note: Oh,and by the way-
that butt photo is NOT me!)