Gaining Perspective

I hope yesterday's entry didn't scare anyone off.

Here I am, a diet blogger-
admitting that I backslid on my diet.
Kinda like an airline pilot
telling you he can't really fly.
Or a Save The Whales spokesman
admitting he eats Shamu steaks
for breakfast.

But the good news is-
I actually lost weight this week!
I was afraid to weigh in-
trembling slightly and trying to guess
what the damage might be.
"Two pounds? One point five? Six?"
My mind swirled and fretted
for hours till I finally
took the plunge and stepped
aboard the scale.
I had lost six tenths of a pound.

It's sad that we get afraid.
Afraid of not losing-
of not living up to our expectations-
or the promises we've made to
ourselves and our family.
There are people out there waiting
to see us push through that rope
and into a healthy life.

I know- in the scheme of things,
six tenths sounds like flea poop,
but to anyone on a diet- it is
like losing a land mass.
Every single tenth and hundredth
of a pound is an accomplishment-
a product of blood, sweat and tears.
A result of commitment and
internal torment.

Today I finally flipped the calendar
to February and decided it was a good time
to mark some dates in the future
that I can look forward to and work toward.
I think setting goals and giving yourself
rewards helps speed the progression.

A few more pounds and I'm
getting myself some better art supplies.
A little more and
it's a day at the hairdresser.
My birthday is in May
and I told myself if I lose a certain
amount by then -that I will buy
myself a new summer outfit.
It keeps me motivated.

But the date I have circled in red
is July 24th.
Goal Day- the finish line
of a 200 day journey.

It's really not that far off.

Along the way,there are going to be times
when another piece of baked chicken
will make you just want to cluck
or another piece of poached fish
cause you to swim under the covers and cry.

But there are also going to be the times
when no matter how boring and bad
and painful and sad this diet is-
you are going to get your second wind
and sprint through this tribulation
with head held high.

Can't wait to see you there.
At the end of 200 days-
soft and tan
and laughing in the sunlight-
no longer afraid-
knowing quite certain
that happiness is simply...
finding thin.